Sunday, October 3, 2010


I was in the mall, bumming around, and this Dead Sea Scroll Jew stops me. Starts shinning my thumb. Then asks me to pay 60 dollars for a bottle of lotion. I decline and say "Seacret? Like Seacrest?" She didn't know who Ryan Seacrest was. I said "You're not from around here are you?" She said she wasn't and I was like "Did you get shipped in with these bottles of lotion?" Finally, I escape and say I'll bring my wife with me later.
Against the odds of that really happening, it did happen. Shell hadn't ate and so we decided to eat at the mall. I though for sure the Jew from the Dead Sea would be gone but she wasn't. I quickly recognized her big sort of ratted hair and had to think quick. I had Michelle go on one side to distract so I could sneak on the other. It didn't work. Plan B, just run away. She came toward me so I just ran away.
Although, I do enjoy my encounters with them. I used to be offended by their blunt disgust of my skin but now I enjoy it because I think they're funny. But, I could see how that might not be a successful selling strategy to most people. Wish I could go to Israel and sell "Salt Lake Seacrest Lotion" and just be like 'You're all ugly! Look at how beautiful this man with highlights in his hair is...his name is Ryan.'"
That would show them. 

See the upset Jewish man in the back?

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