Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Morning of the Kidney Stones

It was a dark and dreary morning. I woke up in the dark and pulled my soul up and into "business casual" clothing to work in. Need to do the wash soon, all my "biz cazsh" clothing doesn't even match anymore. I don't care. My hair looks like death, like if Albert Einstein ever rode a convertible. On the road again. Listening to talk radio voices in my head. Its windy and the roads are winding. I get to work and mumble in through the doors like a lost sheep wandering to the slaughter. I'm still waking from my peaceful resting from the night before. Boss is the usual villain. Coworkers comment on my lack of hair care. Business as usual.
Then, I feel my pants vibrating. A jolt of energy fills my legs and I leap to my feet to answer the call. Its my wife. She's in pain. "I'm having a kidney stone", this is nothing new to me. I engaged myself to this woman while she was on morphine from a kidney stone. Her kidneys have always been A-holes. "It hurts really bad." I realize that she is calling me specifically for help not just in the emotional realm. Tell the boss via electricity that I must leave the grind and help out my distressed damsel.
On the road yet again. I fly through the traffic like a mountain goat jumping through the vertical terrain. Almost there. It feels like the wind is always against me.
Finally, my arrival is met by my lady coming down the stairs of our apartment. We brisk off to the hospital. The gatekeeper holds us momentarily and then we are shown a room where we must wait for our room service to bring us pain killers. Michelle is very sad from her pain. We wait. Finally our medicine woman shows up and decides the best way to inject the drugs is in the butt. So they do. A half hour later and all is calm.
The doctor can't believe all the things Michelle is spewing about her history with her kidneys. Like the time she had to pull out her own stints from her own urethra. The doctor is helpful for once and astonishingly is listening to Michelle. Another appointment is made Thursday for a specialist. The dark morning disperses into a lighter afternoon.
While I was waiting with Michelle, I noticed after the doctor had left, on the computer was a window open for Kidney Stone information from Wikipedia! Wikipedia? Really?

Monday, March 29, 2010

This picture illustrates how my day at work is going:

I took this picture at work and thought yeah thats really whats going on right now. I work at the census and its not busy today. I decided the census is basically the biggest group of temps that count.
Also I saw this pic at work:

Pretty gay stock photo huh?

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Friday, March 19, 2010

Life through the Cell Phone Camera Lens


Lamaggio in a plaid jacket and purple pimp hat with money in the pocket.


This salsa seems a little bi polar to me.


She looks psycho with that huge grin and cock eyed stare. Thanks Target make up section.


I met Zac Efron and Miley Montana at Deseret Industries.


The bar for parenting is pretty low these days. All you have to do is remember the little brats' names and you get a fish sandwich. Thanks Artic Circle.


It was a Vampire Weekend

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Carter

This weekend we babysat a little fireball named Carter. At first I wasn't sure what to expect. His mom kept saying he was counting down the days and then the hours till he could come hang out with Michelle and I. He had never had a sleep over without his big "Dister" before. So the pressure was on.

When I picked him up his older sister was crying. I felt like the bad guy in an old non-animated Disney movie like Beethoven. You could call me the modern Charles Grodon if you like. Anyway, as I was pulling out in the car, big Dister came running out to give Carter a hug and Carter as cool as can be said "Here I will give you something" and then handed her his favorite little teddy bear from out of his bag. It was very touching again like a non-animated Disney film.

We took him to Avatar. He was too tired and although at times mystified by the giant blue indians he wanted to go take a nap. We took him home and he wasn't able to sleep that well all night. But, he was a trooper and in the morning we watched Spongebob and ate some pancakes and a pickle and then for lunch pizza.

It was a good time cause little kids always deliver in saying something funny. For instance while eating pickles Carter said "I think if I ate all of them I would turn into a super hero...a spicy one." Another time after he jumped off the couch, he said "Hey look! I bounced my nose off the remote AND that did NOT hurt at all!" After looking at one of my pictures on the wall he gave me some advice and said "I know where you can take the best picture ever! In the woods...and...its a tiger" Thanks Carter for the cool weekend!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Glamour Shots


Doesn't she look fabulous? Glamour Grandma

Miguel and I are hoping to incrementally start a photography studio that is a throw back to those crazy 90's Glamour Shots but with some modern appeal. I am hoping to assemble as much props and clothes and jewelry to facilitate such a venture. We will also need a really great make up artist that can do animals, kiss make up, and glamour.

Our demographic will most likely focus on ironic indie college kids but hopefully some people who just want to look fabulous in a photo will come in.