Nick and Miguel

2011-08-02T18:43:00.000-07:00

These were in Tyra's kitchen-

These were in Tyra's backyard-

2011-08-02T18:40:00.001-07:00

Taking care of business. Everyday. Taking care of business. Every way. Taking care of business, working overtime, work out.

Goings Ons

2011-06-14T09:14:00.001-07:00

Weddings, trips, plays, eating out, birthdays, cake making, golf tournaments, buffets, instacares, babysittings, working, picture taking, and shopping.

An Unimpressive Video of a Parade in Orem

2011-06-14T09:11:00.001-07:00

We wen tto New York

2011-05-27T21:33:00.000-07:00

Did you know that?
It was fun. The Egers invited us.
Ciao

Birthweek

2011-04-10T23:46:00.000-07:00

We were promised jetpacks. Not really. I think thats a band. Oh great a blog post where I just talk bullcrap back and forth to myself. Like anyone really needs another one of those. I don't. Do you? Probably not. Well, think about it.
Enough with the small talk. Michelle and I had a great old time at Disneyland. The land of dreams. You just know theres some creepy conspiracies going on in that place. But, its quite fun. The rides are great. They're really visual rides. Which I like. Michelle mentions how visual I am. This trip was amazing.
We met up with JonJam and kiddos and T-Bone. Do any of these names make sense to you? They should. They drove and then we flew in for a few days. Disneyland with tykes is fun but Michelle is pretty much the sugar to my Cheerios.

We also saw Craig Ferguson. V.I.P. passes which means we were in the green room. The place where the celebs get drunk before going on. Its true. We sort of hung out with Ellen Page and Zooey Dechanel except they never came into the dressing room but just hung out in their own rooms. Still we were in very close proximity to them. Craig was awesome. He is the best improviser in late night. He's like a mule with a spinning wheel.

The warm up comedian must've went to the same clown college as Lamar because they had the exact same jokes. He referred to me as the "Gay guy from Utah" and then gave me a free shirt. It was a trip of trips. We've had 3 in the last 4 months. We like to get our trip on. I mean I work for an airline so whatev's right? So we've been celebrating Michelle's birth for the past week. They gave her a pin at Disneyland and so every worker who saw her told her happy birthday. Next year we'll have to go to Disneyworld and really get freaky.

Compliments and Complaints

2011-03-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

So lets keep the complaints up and also compliments.
Compliments- nice place and all moved in, Nick working from home so no commute, free laundry, Mishell got a promotion, new furniture from IKEA, and we have flight benefits.
Complaints- we are in crazy debt due to our flight benefit to Long Beach, IKEA furniture is kind of crappy, Mishell isn't sure when her new job promotion will start, I have no excuse for not doing laundry, and my hair is starting to look like an old ladies wig.
The biggest thing we're complaining about is our lack of tax return being returned sooner. We have some money coming that is taking a while. Stupid IRS online thought we had a first time home buyer credit which obviously we don't seeing as we are in debt and living in a studio. $4000 would compliment us nicely.

Same stylist.

2011-02-18T11:12:00.000-08:00

We're moving. Damn. But, good. We'll have a washer and dryer and an overall hip place. Hip don't lie. Shoes don't lie. Hands can lie using sign language. Feet lie down after a long day.

The place we choose is in a house thats 300 years old. Its quite amazing. The natives built it and were confused by the architecture and thus abandoned their design. Settlers came and thought other settlers built it. Turned it into a brothel. Then the Sheriff moved in. Its a long story. Pretty much the same story as Return of the Jedi.

jetBlue is awesome. Why do companies choose to not capitalize certain letters? eBay, jetBlue. Maybe its just a B thing. Anyway, excited to fly soon.

2011-02-14T10:13:00.000-08:00

Community College isn't pretty. Its full of interesting takes on the student form. As well as interesting takes on the College form. My hiatus was ended last winter and I embarked on settling the score between Community College and myself. We've had a long drawn out war. Finally, I thought I had a game plan.
As with any war you have to know your enemy or its futile to winning because what would winning be defined as? For me, winning is just getting a note of surrender in the form of some sort of a degree from my adversary.
Today I faced a major setback. My government aid was not given due to a lacking in W2 forms sent. Its been quite a debacle. Usually I just work on it but today I just feel the need to say everything I don't like about my enemy so as to give you some perspective.
This place is now a Community University. So, in my absence it has grown immensely in strength and arrogance. It looks like a half ass makeover to me. The place has always had an industrial feel that hasn't been updated since the 70's or whenever. But, now it has some new stuff and its just weird. Feels like a library in that it is this massive structure but gross for some reason. You could probably convert the place to a power plant or industrial factory in about two months. The walls are concrete. The ceilings are purposely unfinished but all the pipes and crap are painted over in school colors. I hate it.
Half of my classes had to be dropped. I was only taking two. I dropped one because I had a couple absences due to work and family events. The other class is a nice old man who tells stories about science for 40 minutes and then we turn in a scantron of the chapters. The answers are in the back of the book and the test is open book.
The parking situation is a joke. Before, I didn't mind because there was a shuttle that took me back and forth from school without any other stops. Now the shuttle takes a 40 minute route around the whole campus. Thats what you put up with if you don't feel like shilling over an extra $80 for a parking pass. A lot of people park in visiting because its close and faster than playing their games. We're reduced to being criminals for wanting a decent parking spot. Can you imagine if Wal-Mart made you get a parking pass?
Books are scams. Some even say they're not refundable right when you buy them. If Borders or Barnes and Noble had that same ratio of price they'd be going out of business. And guess what? They already are. Too bad schools get away with it because you don't really have a choice. You can buy it or not. You can get it used and not get a refund but still pay way more than any humane price you can think of or you can get it new and get maybe 20 bucks for the 200 bucks you paid.
Basically, the business model only works because of that handy little note that says you're smart. But, really all its saying is you're smarter than the stupid school for winning them at their run around games.
If this school was really community focused then maybe they should lower tuition, lower book prices, make parking decent and functional, have a good looking inside and outside that is cohesive, make the teachers give a crap about their students. I guess its my fault for picking public schools instead of private.

I never realized how boring our car was till...

2011-02-13T23:44:00.000-08:00

I came back and saw this.

2011-02-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

Archer Andrew Boyer is born.

Hanna stayed over for a sleep over. I just hope we had enough wheels for her to ride on.

New Year, New Stories, New TCU Fans

2011-01-09T10:32:00.001-08:00

So, Shell and I went to LA to celebrate our 2 year anniversary. Things were going great. We decided to hang out in Hollywood for new years because its gotta be cool right? Well we ended up being bored around 9:20 pm. We did see a lot of skanks and hobos and stars on the ground but that didn't fill up our expectations. But then something happened...We were walking around in that mall across from the Jimmy Kimmel theatre and next to the Chinese theatre. Then a lady with a southern accent asked if the elevator went to the hotel (like it was the elevator from Willy Wonka?) and we didn't even know there was a hotel around so we joined her in looking for it and went to the top floor. When we exited the elevator the lady disappeared and we saw strange sightings such as people in elegant garb, Austin Powers and Marylin Monroe look alikes, and signs that read "TCU". I was filled with curiosity while Shell was filled with animosity. She was insistent we leave based on our apparel not being up to par but I went ahead and found the ballroom. It was arranged in such a manner as to every cliche of a rich party you could think of- live band, free creme bru le, and plenty of "old money". So once in, Shell had no choice but to follow as I didn't have a charged cell phone and she would've been left with the skanks and hobos. Wise choice. On the dance floor I started to bust a move and soon Shell was unleashed and we became king and queen of the dance floor. Still aware of our lack of knowing how soon it was before they said something I assured Shell that they'll all be drunk soon anyway and won't care. It was true. Nobody said a thing other than with their eyes and a few times with their mouths to compliment our dancing. It was a party for the alumni of Texas Christian University. They were playing in the Rose Bowl the next day and were having a swanky pep rally for the elite that pay for the whole party. They didn't care we were there and neither did the service. They counted down the new year on Texas time and the marching band crashed the party. We ate the treats and had a good time. I got my picture taken with a disgusted Marylin Monroe and found out how the other half does it. Happy New Year.

Won the Pumpkin Carving Contest with Maddy

2010-10-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

Meet Scarface

She won some purple socks which are the exact ones she said she wanted when we started.

Maddy's dad Rodger was out of town so I joined her for Daddy Daughter night.

Guess who lost at Skipbo?

2010-10-24T21:42:00.000-07:00

Has this ever happened to you?

You beat Michelle at a relatively innocent card game.

Then, she throws a fit?

If so, you are not alone.

There is help.

The pumpkin died

2010-10-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

Its pretty disgusting. It lasted about a week. What the dealio? This isn't coolio! I feel like the foolio!
In other news, Michelle and I are KILLING in our ward. We're getting a lot of laughs. In our Family History class we make everyone laugh. Wish I knew what killed our pumpkin. This picture looks like a scene from CSI if instead of mysterious deaths of people they investigated pumpkins.

Quote of the day:
The Prophet Joseph Smith stated, “The greatest responsibility in this world that God has laid upon us is to seek after our dead” (History of the Church, 6:313). He also stated: “This doctrine was the burden of the scriptures. Those Saints who neglect it in behalf of their deceased relatives, do it at the peril of their own salvation” (ibid., 4:426).

Sushi

2010-10-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

Went to a Sushi place for Vicky's birthday.

This sort of looks like some interactive art theatre or something.

I found this weird picture of my dad with two wiener dogs on his lap. Its weird because who would be that excited enough about "End Tab Folders" to want a picture with them?

First pumpkin carving in years

2010-10-16T15:09:00.001-07:00

Calling all Mac Daddies

2010-10-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

My brother Rory, who will remain named, invented awesome apps for iPhones and iPads and all the other Mac toys. You have to get them!
http://www.wigitapp.com/ -This one lets you put all the crazy hats and wigs on people, hilarity.

Go here for all of them- http://www.appdicted.com/

He has really funny ones for Halloween and different hair styles.

A visual update on whats new with Nick and Miguel

2010-10-13T18:25:00.000-07:00

Well I guess what happened to Michelle isn't really new. Unless you consider that its the most painful kidney stone shes ever had. Thats saying alot.

I sold my art at the Farmer's Market. My booth was next to the face painting. I'm not sure if it hurt business. I did scare people. As I was sitting I'd see people kind of jump once we made eye contact. Even scared little Gibson who refers to me as Joker anyway.

Seacret

2010-10-03T11:42:00.000-07:00

I was in the mall, bumming around, and this Dead Sea Scroll Jew stops me. Starts shinning my thumb. Then asks me to pay 60 dollars for a bottle of lotion. I decline and say "Seacret? Like Seacrest?" She didn't know who Ryan Seacrest was. I said "You're not from around here are you?" She said she wasn't and I was like "Did you get shipped in with these bottles of lotion?" Finally, I escape and say I'll bring my wife with me later.
Against the odds of that really happening, it did happen. Shell hadn't ate and so we decided to eat at the mall. I though for sure the Jew from the Dead Sea would be gone but she wasn't. I quickly recognized her big sort of ratted hair and had to think quick. I had Michelle go on one side to distract so I could sneak on the other. It didn't work. Plan B, just run away. She came toward me so I just ran away.
Although, I do enjoy my encounters with them. I used to be offended by their blunt disgust of my skin but now I enjoy it because I think they're funny. But, I could see how that might not be a successful selling strategy to most people. Wish I could go to Israel and sell "Salt Lake Seacrest Lotion" and just be like 'You're all ugly! Look at how beautiful this man with highlights in his hair is...his name is Ryan.'"
That would show them.

See the upset Jewish man in the back?

When Things Come Back

2010-09-26T15:00:00.000-07:00

Found my ring. It was on the floor by the computer.

Now enjoy some pictures I found on the Internets-

Simba and Mofassa.

a cute Yorkie.

funny clothing and hair.

I'd also like to thank everyone who has bought my art recently. Really cool of you guys. I'm just happy that people like it and want it in their homes. Genuinely satisfying to make something of my own creativity and have it be accepted into the world. Might be what parents feel when they're kids win something.

If you have yet to see my art don't fret. I have a link for you.

Take a look- http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=240411&id=87377506921&ref=mf

Also found some pics from my High School years. No surprises here.

Thrift clothing is the best.

Called to serve in San Diego. Doesn't that look so New Era?

Brian Bowles and I left the same day.

Ashtyn and Mojo.

Hiking

Bowling for My Ring

2010-09-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it. My ring is gone. It'll come back. What adventures could it be on? Are there hobbits currently trying to throw it in a volcano? Perhaps it is on a train headed for Botswana and then a boat because its overseas. I really hope my ring isn't overseas. It might be at the bowling alley. Michelle's ring is fine. Praise the Lord. That one cost a pretty penny. As did mine. Michelle paid for it with her own blood (plasma) and from the help of her mom. Well, lets pray we say the day when my ring comes home to my finger.

Forever Young

2010-09-20T00:19:00.000-07:00

My parents saved me from the worry of getting a great Halloween costume (despite adulthood ruining Halloween). I will be Nacho from Nacho Libre. They left it on the table and upon them coming home from the store I was already practicing my Luchador moves in full Nacho Libre attire. Its to be expected.

We have been living in Provo's BYU Married Student Housing for 9 months now. Possibly shorter. I lack the motivation to recall the date we left the cardboard walled domicile in Salt Lake. Our cinder blocked place is fitting. Although our hearts still belong to California.

We are called to be the Family History Consultants. I even made a flyer-

I seem to always take a Photoshop approach to life. Its worked out well. Since being unemployed I've made $180 from my Photography/Digital Art. And I'm in talks for selling my art in Sugarhouse at this place called "Two Dancing Cats".

Meanwhile in Toon Town, Michelle saw Lion King live.

I Know How Old Age Feels

2010-08-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

I've discovered what old age feels like. Not because I'm getting older or that I recently have started taking more drugs and vitamins but from my temp job at the 2010 Census. I wasn't going door to door but monitoring phone calls ("this call maybe monitored...").

In the beginning we were taken care of by a trainer and formed friendships. Then we got sent out on the floor and gained more friendships. Then we got switched around a bit. News from the central office would come in to our disbelief at how they kept changing things. I realized that there was a lot of big talk from people that would try to make us worry about possibly losing our jobs, but it was just talk. So, I relaxed more and just enjoyed the ride. Soon people started being let go, not from their behavior but just because the Census had to end sometime and they weren't needed anymore. Fortunately, I was able to hold on to the end. As time went on I saw less and less of my friends and more and more strangers. I was more forgiving in my monitoring and cared less and less about the work that became less and less. I kept thinking I'd see more of my friends from before, but I knew I wouldn't. I'm sure this is how old age feels; a bit lonely, nostalgic, reminiscing about how things used to be and ready to be done.

Makes me wonder if thats why there are so many old people that become greeters at Wal-Mart; they are just happy to see people visit them.

Makes me look at my life now and not worry about all the big talk from the news or from those that think life is a competition, makes me enjoy my friends and time, makes me want to work on things that really matter and forgive others their trespasses, and not be scared of change or death but just go with the flow.

Life's too short to not do these things. Even if life was long, it'd still be a waste of time to hold on to grudges or to worry all the time about things that don't matter.

July Still

2010-07-15T09:53:00.000-07:00

My wife (Miguel) is finally getting out her gall bladder. I call it "Darth Bladder" or "Gosh Bladder" or "Mall Latter", that last one makes no sense. Anyway, please pray that her gall bladder gets sent to hell.

We're now working up in Salt Lake County and still living in Utah County. WTH? We just love driving (sarcasm). Michelle does, she teaches driving.

This cat reminds me of Shell-

Miguelzabub made Carter cry at Mady's baptizm. She was giving a talk about baptism and went on about being together forever and then called Carter a bum. Carter curled up in the fetal position and cried. Miguelzabub was just trying to relate to Mady by saying that the offer might not always sound good but I guess it was a bit too real for him, but still funny. Miguelzabub also was just trying to explain "what the heck you're getting into" to Mady, to which Mady said "Yeah, water!" and everybody laughed heartedly.

The Land of the Summer

2010-06-30T21:36:00.000-07:00

Hanna is an adorable kid. Adorable means worshipable. I don't worship Hanna but she is pretty awesome. Once again we watched a niece and then went to a party the next day. Whats up with these party girl nieces of ours? Actually theres been non stop running around for the last 2 weeks. We had birthdays of Maddy, Jared, Tom, Rory and Jamber. We bought gifts late but dang it we got'em! We got Maddy a book, Tom something off the internet, Rory a book, Jared a shirt, and Jamber a book. Anyway, we also saw a Beatles wannabe band which was worth it because they did pretty good with "Hey Jude" but were mostly off key (so says Michelle, I wouldn't know). Then there were fireworks for Taylorsville Dayzz. Lots of family events. Oh yeah and Father's Day. Michelle and I decided to go to Target and get some legit studio cheesefest pics for our fathers to their confusion and appreciation. We brought our own props but had some fun with some of theirs. The photographer was very delighted and even made a bunch of funny collages. All can be seen on Facebook but maybe I'll post some here. Of course what few weeks would be complete without some Scrabble, bowling, and leaving in the middle of the night for lortabs for Michelle's stomach pain. We're getting that sucker Gall Bladder out ASAP. Bowling is fun when you have a cute little niece because people always interact with her (especially at BYU's bowling alley). Hanna was so happy when she got just one pin, it was infectious. She quickly made friends with our neighbors. We also got some pizza and sparklers. Our place is pretty kid friendly, theres a bunch of kids' playgrounds and other tots running around. Anyway, happy whatever and thanks for that thing you did.
Here are the pics-

Heart Bruise

2010-06-22T14:38:00.000-07:00

So this is the second heart shaped purple bruise Michelle has given me. The first one was on our first git together. This one is from her pinching me because I wouldn't let her pop zits on my back. Its kind of cool looking.

I took this at Wal-Mart pharmacy. Why is this lady so worried? I bet the customer farted or something.

Somehow this person is related to the Harris family. I found these old pictures on the Harris' computer one day and sent them to myself in an email. Pretty cool.

Nick and Miguel like you've never seen us before

2010-06-16T00:10:00.001-07:00

I'm now married to Jane Lynch

2010-05-20T14:10:00.001-07:00

So, I'm now married to a really hot version of Lisa Simpson

2010-05-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

The Party Monster

2010-05-16T11:28:00.000-07:00

(Click to enlarge)
Meet Madisyn Pond. She is the our niece. We babysit other people's kids from time to time. But, this time it wasn't like we were babysitting. It was more like a crazy friend who likes to party hung out with us for the weekend. We went out to eat, then we went bowling, where there happen to be a dance off, which we won, of course, because Mady was rolling around on the ground and Miguel did the moonwalk. I mostly just shook it like a Polaroid picture. Mady was a favorite of the bowlers in our neighboring lanes because she would yell and scream whether she hit the pins or not and slide half way down the lane before dropping the ball. Quite amusing, indeed. Then we played video games and Mady got enough tickets to buy one of those toys that grows in water. We got it home and nothing happened but the next morning it had grown like 3 times the size to much of our delight. It was about the same size as a sleeping dragon fly I found.

These were the only bugs at our place. Despite what our nephew Carter might tell you about the sanitation of our place (no dead mice and spiders). Mady also exhibited a few dances she made up.

Then Mady was like "I know where there's a party". Turned out to be a birthday party for Carter, in Sandy at Bouncin Off the Walls. No problem. We drove and it was a little far away, so Miguel and I told Mady she could sleep if she wanted and she said "I don't sleep on the way if the place we're going I can bounce at." I follow that rule now.

So this is Summer

2010-05-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

Hi. Lately, its been Summer. I think its Summer. Still cold at night. No Summer at night yet. We can still get Summer sometimes during the day. Depends on the reception of the sun. I am a great adapter for warmer temperatures. Because I hate winter.

Michelle is making a cake. Or perhaps caking a make. Any takers? You cakers. I hate when the Lakers beat the Jazz. I think Michelle will have me beat the eggs.

Taught the Elders today. They were all drawing and coloring cards for Mother's day, while I was teaching. I'm used to it from our last ward, teaching nursery.

Michelle just fired me from helping to make the cake. She asked me to break the eggs and I was going to smash and break but she took my look and forsook me from having to cook.

I drew her a kitty on a card, but the cat wasn't that pretty, it was hard. It said "Rawr" and "Meow" and I then I gave it, to her "Wow".

Mother's day is a way, of showing a display, of being grown, out of kid's play, an adult now shown.

My mom has hair like that of the Red Sea, if it lived up to it's name and had red for people to see.

She's a good mom. So is the lady married to Tom.

I have that song Be Prepared by Scar stuck in my head

2010-04-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

Cali is a weird cat. She hid in the dresser last night. Not just in a drawer but in the space thats not occupied when the drawer is ajar. I think its because Michelle vacuumed. I thought maybe we were going to have an earthquake. Cali just hates cleanliness and reacts the same as if it were fatal.
Miguel is working the streets again. Teaching people how to drive the streets. Its good cause she has just finished a semester of book smarts education and now can get the street smarts again. I'm still working for the Census. Its a funny job. I found out yesterday that there really is someone named "Anita Mann" but I've yet to find Amanda Hugandkiss. GO JAZZ

Pogo Gueros

2010-04-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

Dinner at Olive Garden

2010-04-19T21:14:00.001-07:00

Miguel: Sometimes I feel bad for not liking Olives cause they're Jesus' favorite.
Nick:...What?
Miguel: He's always talking about them.
Nick: Yeah thats true. I think you're conflicted because you either LOVE or HATE things, even food. You HATE olives but you LOVE Jesus.
Miguel: Yeah maybe. I think Jesus hates the New York Yankees.
Nick: And the Lakers.
Miguel: The Devil loves the Yankees.
Nick: That sounds like a book title. I'd read it.

Unclely Love

2010-04-19T17:31:00.000-07:00

I have many nephews and nieces which I love but I don't think anyone should ever say "Unclely Love" in any regards. Brotherly, Sisterly, Fatherly, Motherly is fine.

The Brothers Bloom -Movie Review

2010-04-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

This show is hilarious. Its one of the best movies I've seen in a while. Watching it was like watching Royal Tenenbaums for the first time. Exciting, new, quick wits, style, and characters I cared about. The story goes as two con men brothers with one wanting to quit after just that one last con. The adventure never stops and the scenes are always quirky. If you're a fan of Devotchka and Wes Anderson then this movie is for you. 5 Golden Rainbows!

Real sunsets might be beautiful but they turn into dark uncertain nights.

Whip It -Movie Review

2010-04-16T20:56:00.001-07:00

From the directorial debut of Drew Barrymore you can expect the movie to generally be a reflection of Drew, that being an obnoxiously annoying, scattered, trendy hipster. The movie is at times charismatic and sometimes funny but not substantially moving and mostly the comedy is predictable. There are a few hints at something, but it loses focus, and tries too hard, and thus, its hard to keep interested, mostly due to the fact that every 10 seconds a new indie song comes on and the scene turns into ANOTHER montage. It felt like if Urban Outfitters had commercials. There are hardly any scenes that don't have some obnoxious futile randomly rebellious face gestures or acting out in some way. Another thing is, in the movie, Juno is 17 and lies about it and has sex in a pool with some guy in his 20's. Rape? It was weird.

All the characters were amazingly predictable, heres the disapproving parents, heres the rival, heres the love interest, etc. No real character development and just random emotions like they were suddenly assigned these confusing emotions, which they were but the point of art is for it to be an escape and I wish I could've escaped from this movie. The scenes? Predictable and unrealistic- heres the part where no one believes in the protagonist, heres the part where things fall apart, heres the part where things work out in the end. Lots of heavy handed random interactions. There was also a lot of swearing for some reason. I wouldn't swear by this movie. Its not great. A shame because it could've been good. Its a lot of talent gone to s@*%. I guess I did swear by it.

The best part was when a Strokes song came on that I hadn't heard in a while.

A Cat, Some Dogs, and the Easter Bunny

2010-04-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

We saved a cat. Cali the Calico Cat is now hiding under our bed. Cali's got anxiety and not a lot of friends. Miguel's parents were going to send her away to either the big house or the Big Man upstairs. Fortunately, fate intervened and we were able to get her in before then. Miguel loves Cali because she gets her, and because Miguel basically loves most things with her whole soul, including ice cream and Hello Kitty. Well that worked out but unfortunately, not so much for some wiener dogs.

I love wiener dogs of all sorts, especially the ones that were living at my parents' house, Joey and Josie. My parents decided to give them to the Humane Society because they weren't house broken very well and Ma and Pa didn't like cleaning up after them anymore. Now my favorite wiener dogs are either in the big house or with the Big Man upstairs. All dogs go to heaven you know. Mom said it was an Easter present to my dad. Apparently, the Easter Bunny is now in the business of getting rid of dogs.

I heard about the news last night and thought why would the Easter Bunny do this to me? Especially after being so good to Miguel and I. Buttering me up with a brand new Nano Ipod and Miguel with a brand new swimsuit, among other candies.

Rory might go rescue the wieners. I would but I'm already harboring a cat convict. Cali the Calico Cat is pretty easy to harbor. Having a cat with anxiety is kind of like having no cat at all. I think Cali went to that Milford Academy where you're neither seen nor heard.

The Morning of the Kidney Stones

2010-03-30T13:56:00.000-07:00

It was a dark and dreary morning. I woke up in the dark and pulled my soul up and into "business casual" clothing to work in. Need to do the wash soon, all my "biz cazsh" clothing doesn't even match anymore. I don't care. My hair looks like death, like if Albert Einstein ever rode a convertible. On the road again. Listening to talk radio voices in my head. Its windy and the roads are winding. I get to work and mumble in through the doors like a lost sheep wandering to the slaughter. I'm still waking from my peaceful resting from the night before. Boss is the usual villain. Coworkers comment on my lack of hair care. Business as usual.
Then, I feel my pants vibrating. A jolt of energy fills my legs and I leap to my feet to answer the call. Its my wife. She's in pain. "I'm having a kidney stone", this is nothing new to me. I engaged myself to this woman while she was on morphine from a kidney stone. Her kidneys have always been A-holes. "It hurts really bad." I realize that she is calling me specifically for help not just in the emotional realm. Tell the boss via electricity that I must leave the grind and help out my distressed damsel.
On the road yet again. I fly through the traffic like a mountain goat jumping through the vertical terrain. Almost there. It feels like the wind is always against me.
Finally, my arrival is met by my lady coming down the stairs of our apartment. We brisk off to the hospital. The gatekeeper holds us momentarily and then we are shown a room where we must wait for our room service to bring us pain killers. Michelle is very sad from her pain. We wait. Finally our medicine woman shows up and decides the best way to inject the drugs is in the butt. So they do. A half hour later and all is calm.
The doctor can't believe all the things Michelle is spewing about her history with her kidneys. Like the time she had to pull out her own stints from her own urethra. The doctor is helpful for once and astonishingly is listening to Michelle. Another appointment is made Thursday for a specialist. The dark morning disperses into a lighter afternoon.
While I was waiting with Michelle, I noticed after the doctor had left, on the computer was a window open for Kidney Stone information from Wikipedia! Wikipedia? Really?

2010-03-29T11:11:00.000-07:00

This picture illustrates how my day at work is going:

I took this picture at work and thought yeah thats really whats going on right now. I work at the census and its not busy today. I decided the census is basically the biggest group of temps that count.
Also I saw this pic at work:

Pretty gay stock photo huh?

2010-03-25T22:44:00.000-07:00

Life through the Cell Phone Camera Lens

2010-03-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

Lamaggio in a plaid jacket and purple pimp hat with money in the pocket.

This salsa seems a little bi polar to me.

She looks psycho with that huge grin and cock eyed stare. Thanks Target make up section.

I met Zac Efron and Miley Montana at Deseret Industries.

The bar for parenting is pretty low these days. All you have to do is remember the little brats' names and you get a fish sandwich. Thanks Artic Circle.

It was a Vampire Weekend

Carter

2010-03-13T18:57:00.001-08:00

This weekend we babysat a little fireball named Carter. At first I wasn't sure what to expect. His mom kept saying he was counting down the days and then the hours till he could come hang out with Michelle and I. He had never had a sleep over without his big "Dister" before. So the pressure was on.

When I picked him up his older sister was crying. I felt like the bad guy in an old non-animated Disney movie like Beethoven. You could call me the modern Charles Grodon if you like. Anyway, as I was pulling out in the car, big Dister came running out to give Carter a hug and Carter as cool as can be said "Here I will give you something" and then handed her his favorite little teddy bear from out of his bag. It was very touching again like a non-animated Disney film.

We took him to Avatar. He was too tired and although at times mystified by the giant blue indians he wanted to go take a nap. We took him home and he wasn't able to sleep that well all night. But, he was a trooper and in the morning we watched Spongebob and ate some pancakes and a pickle and then for lunch pizza.

It was a good time cause little kids always deliver in saying something funny. For instance while eating pickles Carter said "I think if I ate all of them I would turn into a super hero...a spicy one." Another time after he jumped off the couch, he said "Hey look! I bounced my nose off the remote AND that did NOT hurt at all!" After looking at one of my pictures on the wall he gave me some advice and said "I know where you can take the best picture ever! In the woods...and...its a tiger" Thanks Carter for the cool weekend!

Glamour Shots

2010-03-02T16:36:00.000-08:00

Doesn't she look fabulous? Glamour Grandma

Miguel and I are hoping to incrementally start a photography studio that is a throw back to those crazy 90's Glamour Shots but with some modern appeal. I am hoping to assemble as much props and clothes and jewelry to facilitate such a venture. We will also need a really great make up artist that can do animals, kiss make up, and glamour.

Our demographic will most likely focus on ironic indie college kids but hopefully some people who just want to look fabulous in a photo will come in.

Some pics, facts and things incase you missed them

2010-02-23T12:43:00.000-08:00

A glimpse at our lives through the lens of a cell phone camera:

Fat Nick

Michelle's Halloween costume. One person thought she was Edward from Twilight.

This is an old pic I found of the old lady red hat club.

Genius marketing at Utah Valley University

Dumpster diver douche. As you can see from the U-haul truck on the left, this was the day we moved out of that complex.

Found this little gem at a thrift store. What a 5 head!

Amber likes to dance to fireworks at the Mayan as part of the entertainment.

Git R Did and a butterfly

MarRae being secretary/pranksta at T-ville city hall.

Tyra going 80's!

Is this sign telling me to go to hell?

What a steal of a deal!

Keepin it clean

Nick's single ready to mingle days

When Michelle speaks spanish she turns into Miguel. This is a video of Miguel and her amazing and beautifully exotic accent.

Celebs Nick has met, seen, or encountered:
Andrew W.K.
Harrison Ford
Norm Macdonald
Pat O'Brien
Ron Paul
Dick Cheney (giving commencement speech at BYU)
Ralph Nader (giving alternative commencement speech at UVU)
Joel McHale
Chelsea Clinton
Lavelle Edwards
& the lead singer of Modest Mouse

Michelle can no longer have an X ray done due to having so many injuries and X-rays, it might cause radiation. I asked her to write them all down but can't due to the volume. Nick has never broken a bone or had stitches.

"We need to have more parties!"

2010-02-20T08:14:00.000-08:00

So, you know how we live in Provo now? Welllll we're about 1 minute from this Provo Temple. Yesterday we embarked on doing a session there and saw that they needed some people for Sealings. It was pretty good. We had a temple worker that could actually pronounce all the exotic names and he kept it light by telling us about the funny names he would find while doing Sealing sessions, such as; Iona Ford, Mary Bones, etc.

Anyway, after we're done and leaving an old man comes up to Michelle and is going in for a kiss on the cheek, which Michelle goes along with awkwardly and confused (kind of like our first kiss). Then he comes up to me and says "We need to have more parties!" and I said "Yeah, thats what I say!" Then he goes on.
"Hows the family?"
"Oh they're good"
"Yeah? Good. Jerry is doing good?"
"...yeeah"
Who is Jerry? I don't know. I swiftly try to get us out of there before he finds out we're not who he thinks we are. Then Michelle blurts out "I don't know a Jerry!?" and I said "Just go with it!" and we got out of there. We didn't see him again.

That was a one of our better temple experiences.

Movie Review- 500 Days of Summer

2010-02-16T09:06:00.000-08:00

Miguel and I watched this 500 Days of Summer flick last night.

I give it 4 stars out of 6 rainbows.

This is one of those "indie" movies which means they dress like hipsters and listen to the Smiths or Pixies or some band that you might not hear on the radio but recognize from commercials. Anyway, as I have said in this blog that we are definitely a little hipster and indie. Takes one to know one (kid I think you got it bad), if you recognize those lyrics then I would say you are a hipster indie person as well.

I liked this movie. Any movie that has funny dialogue always gets me. Usually any movie with Zooey Deschanel aint so bad either. She did a great job playing the fun but flighty girl who wants friendship while Joseph Gordon Levitt played the other person in the movie. He is the main star who is either having the best time of his life or the worst because of this Summer (Zooey). Not quite the same boy meets girl plot but not too different. Its quirky enough to watch again and again but its no Juno. I'm just glad to see a movie that doesn't have John Travolta or Kate Hudson in it because those are way too mainstream mediocre and I'm indie.

On that note I did get into Lady Gaga for like 10 seconds and now I'm over it. She isn't that good. Especially when you put her in league with people like Regina Spektor or Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Thats another story though.

500 Days of Summer felt like watching an old relationship that at the time seemed so important but then afterward its like did I really think Lady Gaga was good? I don't know why I was tricked into that one. So I recommend watching this movie because its like a young High Fidelity.

The Times of Valen

2010-02-14T09:00:00.001-08:00

This was probably the best Valentine's day ever. Miguel likes to call it "Valen Time's Day" like its some newspaper that prints stories about lovers or some guy named Valen who is such a lover we celebrate his existence every year by being in love.

Its probably a really good thing we didn't just up and leave to Cali this year. Last year was a lot of fun. So fun because Michelle served her LDS mission in North Hollywood and Burbank so we were able to meet some of her converts and the members there who loved her. I mean loved her. They were so happy to see her. (Almost as happy as Michelle gets when I buy her a soft furry stuffed animal).

We met a guy named Brother Cannon. An old World War II vet who later became one of the Seventy for the LDS church and had the greatest gift of discernment of anyone I ever met. He had me shave and had us write down our names in cursive and then a few sentences by which he would explain to us what kind of people he thought we were. He was about 100% correct. We went to his house where his son told us he had been hospitalized. So we went there. A week later he died.

Oh the times of Valen! This year we went to Jump on It, a place that just has about 30 trampolines lined up next to each other with about that many kids jumping on them. I stubbed my toe after 20 mins and we had to go. Also we ate out. Michelle said to make sure I get her flowers. Luckily I found a shirt she would like that had flowers on it. Flowers for V day are nice but they die. T-Shirts, thats where true love is at!

That said I endorse Joel Stein's tweet today- "Why should only Christmas get a better greeting than 'happy'? Let's start saying 'Sexy Valentine's Day'. Also 'Acceptable Presidents Day'

Marketed to Kids, Made for Adults

2010-02-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

Today we almost took a drive to Disneyland.

Its sort of tradition for us to randomly start escalating our plans to the point of packing up and driving to California or Vegas by that same day.

We didn't this time. Last year we drove to Santa Monica on a whim of "You don't have to work and we have money! What are we doing here?" Its fun but this time we thought we should save some of our time and money. What dummies right? Anyway, tomorrow we are going to Jump On It and jump on it. Its one of those places that are enticing to kids but designed for adults.

Kind of like one of those computer animated movies I'm not too attracted to. Why do people give me so much guff about that? Every time Michelle mentions that I haven't seen Finding Nemo or Cars or the Incredibles, people act like I killed a penguin because they just can't comprehend the idea of why this would happen.

I'm sorry. Those movies are marketed for kids but made for adults who really would want to watch them anyway but only justify it by bringing kids along. The humor in these movies are mostly rehashed, family oriented versions of Monty Python. I don't hate them but I just don't have a desire to see them. Again, marketed to kids but written for the adults that want that cartoon silliness but are too mature to admit it.

Kind of like Disneyland. Hmmm.....

Just watch some Monty Python's Flying Circus already.

The Wedding Dance

2010-02-06T08:31:00.000-08:00

So, my wife and I met 5 or 6 years ago. We weren't married when we met. The marriage came later. This is how it happened-
I went to a wedding just after highschool. It was the first wedding I went to where I wasn't related to the bride and groom in any way. Michelle was there as a bride's maid for my friend, but I don't remember talking to her or meeting her. I was more interested in just dancing in a circle, not knowing the camera or Michelle was recording my moves.
Soon I left for San Diego on a Spanish speaking mission for 2 years, where the first conference in front of the mission I had to introduce myself and said "You know the field is white and already to harvest or in my case its brown and talks too fast". I wasn't asked to speak in front of the mission again.
Upon coming home I found myself playing another kind of field. For 3 years I had no luck in converting a girlfriend to an eternal companion. I found myself in a strange jungle with cougars while living single in Provo and going to school.
Michelle by this time had enlisted in the mission field in San Fernando, Spanish speaking. Then she came home and replayed that tape in her mind of me dancing and inquired my friend as to setting up a date.
I know my friend Jamber likes to take credit for us meeting but I think the credit really goes to the dance moves that impacted Michelle's heart for like 5 or 6 years. How often do dance moves affect people's hearts like that? Not often. The only examples that would be comparable would be Elvis' hips and Michael Jackson's moonwalking.
Jamber sent me a message on Facebook and I eventually saved the date. Michelle had begun texting me and would say things like "rawrrr" and I would reply "meow". With all this texting and waiting 5 or 6 years to see me again Michelle just couldn't wait 5 or 6 more days till our official blind date and we met early. Then eventually (like 3 months later) got married.
Later Michelle told me that she knew I was the one after our 3rd date. We went on a crazy adventure date going to various locations, finally ending up at a carnival set up by a local Catholic church. There was a local band with a trumpet playing so we went to see. Normally people at local band shows are quite reserved and this awkward tension can only be danced off. Michelle initiated it and we began to show off some real groove and sweat, dancing, while nervous onlookers took pictures of us. This time I knew the camera was recording and knew Michelle.
So, my advice to you single ladies and gents is if you want to get married then you need to dance.

Practicality is so hip and smart

2010-02-04T17:59:00.000-08:00

Miguel and I finally live in a place that doesn't feel like a cheap hotel or like we're imposing on some stranger's basement. Its called BYU housing and I was really against the idea cause I thought I would feel like I was in Sunday School all the time. As you know as a youth I would often make excuses and cry if I had to go to Sunday School. So there were some trepidations but now I love it. Also, I am sort of hipster so I wanted somewhere cool but now I see how bad it is to follow trends instead of something practical. Practicality is so hip and smart and our place is totally hipster anyway!

Miguel is now going to school without any distractions like:
-House music randomly during the day and night
-swearing and yelling from the other side of the wall
-random smoke smells
-a huge commute
-an overall awkward feeling coming home or leaving
-having to climb a mountain upon coming home

I started my new job at the U.S. Census Bureau and although I've sworn a life oath of never indulging anything about my job (yep), I will tell you a few things that do not pertain to Title 13 Confidentiality Regulations. I got referenced by a coworker to looking, sounding, and acting like David Spade or "that guy from Tommy Boy". Its a really cool job because I will be monitoring phone calls instead of having to actually make or take phone calls. It pays well and ends in July so I'll be able to finally go back to school on my terms: with money and time to study. Also, I might be able to get the morning shift so I'll be able to see Miguel more but if not I'll at least be compensated handsomely for working nights.

Ciao

Meow

2010-01-28T21:17:00.000-08:00

Hi. Nick again. I blog way more than Miguel.
News:
We are moving to BYU land on Saturday.

I got a sweet job in Sandy working for the Census that starts Monday.

I don't like Jay Leno or Oprah. Conan and Ellen are so much better!

Michelle has kidney pain. We watch on the Doctors show that showed a girl with the same thing and the answer to it was pain pills. They said to go see a pain specialist.

I made a shirt for Michelle- http://179054.spreadshirt.com/meow-kitten-A5541378/customize/color/1

Thank You Generous Hosts

2010-01-23T22:14:00.000-08:00

Our neighbor hasn't been evicted! Our management said they cannot "legally" kick him out. So, I guess that means they aren't playing by prison rules (which is no rules). But, we can "legally" move to another complex thats under the same management. The problem is the ones we like are $100 more than we're paying now. We'll keep looking and deciding. Our contract goes up in April. Perhaps an attic we shall seek.

Anyway, Nick had an amazing 25 year milestone in his life. I'm Nick. I got shoes and ate at Madelines with the Partridges and was showered with kind sentiments and steak and an extra side of buffalo wings. Then ate at Sweet Tomatoes with my damn family. People always say "fam damily". I say damn family, but, in a loving way. My mom also made her Italian approved lasagna with a salad that had Olive Garden dressing and a crayon cake. I always have liked Crayon Cake for my birthday and have gone to Nicklecade a lot on birthday occasions. Nicklecade is no longer around but Nickle Mania is, and its exactly like Nicklecade. Kid places hardly change, though.

So, Michelle got me some new shoes and is the best person to have a birthday with, because she is one of those play-hard/work-hard people, who know how to get a party going. Which is good for me cause I'm sort of one of those laid back, chillax kind of people. Unless Andrew W.K. is on. Or Vampire Weekend which my friends Tyra and Tom Partridge graciously bought me tickets to see in March.

And now Andrew W.K. with the weather-

THANK YOU FOR THE PRESENTS AND WARM SENTIMENTS EVERYONE!

Living the Dream

2010-01-15T09:57:00.000-08:00

Marriage is awesome.

Yes thats exactly what it looks like. Its not me idea. Me as in Nick.
I thought I'd start writing on here again.
Things that are new or up in the air-
You've probably heard about our meth neighbor. Twice called the cops on him. First time was because we suspected Meth use. Second is because he's really loud and offensive sometimes at night. He has been a pain but we're not going to move till April because it would cost a lot and we like downtown. His name is Carl and he is a crazy gay man that looks like a pirate and loves Lady Gaga and songs like "I'm coming out, I want the world to know, got to let it show!" I know because he plays and sings a long to them. Which is all right. He has calmed down but its just awkward. Management told me that he wouldn't be living there much longer. I'm not sure what their definition of "living there much longer" means. Are they going to kill him?
Another thing. Michelle is working triple duty right now. That is not a new way of saying having to go to the bathroom #2 a lot. I mean that she is going to to a University that is an hour away, teaching driver's ed thats 20 min away, and babysitting 2 childrens in the mornings every other day and that is 30 min away. So please pray for Michelle. Meanwhile, Nick is just eating Tony's freezer pizzas and checking the Huffington Post every 15 minutes. I did get a job that starts soon. It will be for the U.S. Census Bureau. Sounds important and pays really well. That will be next month. Which is great cause Michelle put in her 2 weeks which turned into 2 months at her job. We're excited about that.
One more thing. Even though we haven't had cable or even those stupid converter boxes to watch TV we are able to stay caught up on American Idol, the Office, and whatever else. Did you see Pants on the Ground? That guy is and will always be my African American Idol. That would be a cool show (although racist due to its limiting implications on contestants' ethnicities due to the title). Is Ethnicities a word? Blogger says no and suggests that I replace it with "Elasticities" which is quite racist, indeed.
All in all we are living the dream!
Go Team COCO

Avatar Boyers

2009-12-27T17:30:00.001-08:00

Nick and Michelle

2009-08-06T19:11:00.000-07:00

A First Rate Update

2009-07-15T15:25:00.000-07:00

So, this is Nick. Lets have a chat. I think I need to apologize first of all. When I started this blog I had a computer and now its on the fritz. So, we haven't been able to really log on the web our lives in a format that can be tolerated for a first rate update. Right now I'm using Tyra's computer. Although, I think the computer is using me. Its like defying me to believe its a good computer whenever I use it because I want to believe its a good computer. But, its better than mine.

Michelle is taking a nap. We've had a long last few days. Our little friend Vickie called up with another problem of using too much drugs or not enough. She was Michelle's companion in the mission. Now she is a user. So, we went to take her to the emergency room etc. etc. Point of the story is we didn't get much sleep and had to drive a lot. Her dad is not taking care of her I guess. We don't really know the full story ever but we hope she gets the treatment she needs.

Drugs are ba ba bad. Not in a cool way. Like smoking is. Just kidding. Smoking is only okay if they're rock stars or in a Police Drama. Other wise forget it. Lungs need air to spare not black smoke and tokes. But a lot of people still do these things.

I hope Michelle wakes up before 6 cause she has a class to teach. Yeah she isn't driving the short bus but she is still a driving instructor. She likes it. Me? You ask? Why yes I am going to intern for Senator Harry Reid in Washington D.C.. How did you know? Oh you didn't? Oh you found out on Facebook? Your sources are legit. We don't know yet the whole story with that either as far as housing or if Michelle is coming. So, there are some balls in the air. Balls are better than smoke in the air though.

Also, we have redeemed some clothes from the choco milk monster that happened. Oh yeah, it was a demon. We live on the 3rd floor and on a hill so when we get groceries we have a death hike so we carry all we can in one trip. Well, Miguel had like the OJ, Milk, and Chocolate Milk gallons and she dropped the choco milk bomb and it went everywhere in our kitchen. So, we cleaned it up and left the towels on the dirty clothes pile. A few days later we came home. The carpet reaked and then we went into the bedroom where the towels laid like an evil spider waiting for its prey. We were assaulted immediately by these moist, warm, disgusting towels and their rotten smell. We gagged. Michelle thought my gag was a good gag. She threw up. I threw them out of the apartment and then down the stairs and then into the rain and finally a dumpster. The smell lingered and I thought the clothes were unpardonable but they are redeemed. Hallelujah.

Extra Extra

2009-06-09T15:34:00.001-07:00

So, we meet again. Has anyone got a chance to watch Nick's movie debut as bearded, drunk, high school dancer at a pool party in the S. Darko movie (sequel to Donnie Darko (but not really, just in name))? It is pretty fabulous. Hopefully, you don't watch the rest of the movie. Also, there is art up in Provo under the name El Digital Artist. We are hoping to get worldwide recognition. Michelle is now a driving instructor. You read that right. We're both working hard to make a difference. 10 people came up to us in our ward and asked if we were new. They were new to us. But, maybe we should try and befriend the old timies with some song and dance. I'm sure it would ease their arthritis. Its a pretty good ward. Our friends down the street Dan and Susan go to the ward just before us and guess who also goes there. You guessed wrong. Marv! Nick's 40 year old roommate from the time he wasn't married and lived in Provo. Weird. If you see a guy with a tattoo of the Nike sign then you know its Marv. Anyway, Happy birthday to everyone this month. We're kind of poor. So that might be your birthday card. Apologies.
Nick and Miguel's current favs-
Angel
Harry Potter
The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brian
Neko Case
Camera Obscura
Rain
Money
Twilight Concert Series
Jimmy John's sandwiches
Our 46 in TV that Nick's parents bought for 30 dollars at a yard sale
and
Templos

The Monthly Blog Talk

2009-05-08T21:48:00.001-07:00

You're probably wondering "when is Nick and Miguel going to have a baby and name it Bzerker the Explorer". Well to answer your question no, we are not, as of yet. I just noticed the word quest is in the word question. How quaint is that? I guess we must go on a quest before we know, like one of those Indian guru's at the quaint top of a mountain. Actually, we are going to have a baby!
Baby!
Baby!
Someday. Babies are cute, but guess what? We don't have enough moola la for that kind of fun. We need a new car if you know any good deals. And a good computer. And milk. Babies love milk.
N.E. way, good talk.

Just another Nick in the park

2009-04-13T21:03:00.000-07:00

Here I am again. It's been a long time since I've blogged, mostly because I usually figure that Nick's got things covered with the blogging whatever. However, today was an adventure at my expense and I feel that I need to express to our fine audience how I was taken advantage of in my obviously immobile state.
Today started out great. Nick made me microwave blueberry pancakes which surprisingly weren't as disgusting as I had previously judged. We cleaned the house for our potential apartment buyers to admire, and I finished season 5 of Gilmore Girls. At about 2 or 3 we noticed how beautiful it was outside and, of course, we decided to take a stroll. We walked all over the park and up to my old house to pick up my mail. On the way home we found an abandoned shopping cart. Anyone who knows anything knows that I love being pushed in shopping carts. I climbed in and Nick started pushing me. I guess he was feeling antsy or bored or whatever so he started running. We turned the corner onto our street, and he started running a little faster. By this time he had been running for maybe 10 minutes. I was fully confident that Nick was going to keep me safe, because that's just the type of relationship I thought we had. Well, because he thought it would be so hilarious to scare me, he shoved the cart really hard and let go as he was running. His genius plan was to sprint up and catch the handle of the cart right before it veered into the curb. Unfortunately, he has no kick whatsoever and couldn't catch up to me. I, in my trusting state, fully expected him to catch me at any second, but little did I know how apathetic he was with his wife's safety and well-being. Long story short- I slammed head-on into the curb going at a relatively fast speed. You know in the movies when some kid hits something with his bike and flies through the air in a superman position over the handle bars? Well, that's exactly what happened. My shoes flew into the air as well as all the contents in my purse, my sunglasses and my pride. I landed on hands and knees on the grass with leaves and sticks that ended up all over me. In all actuality, I thought it was pretty funny. I laughed hysterically for a while and so did Nick. Oh, and of course, he had to take a picture before he would help me up. That's just the type of guy he is.

And now a tribute to Hannah!

Giggle, Farts

2009-04-05T22:37:00.000-07:00

So, lately Miguel and I have been socializing. Now that we're married we usually only hang out with other couples. Its kind of weird. When I wasn't married I usually only hung out with single people. Went to a single's ward and had single experiences. Now, that I'm a married man I hardly do anything by myself. I go to a family ward, I have family home evening, we eat with family and the usual things that people do. But, sometimes things that should be only to the single person will happen where you get to share something that single experience together with all your senses. In this case mainly the sense of smell. You see Miguel tells me that her genetics are so that she has a "weak stomach". So, I've learned that a weak stomach will sometimes make something that is very strong and can clear a room of any hope of comfort. As witnessed by little Maddy-

So, I know from further analysis that my calculations have been vindicated by children that have also shared my experience in their young age. Such an innocence lost and thrown literally to the wind. Innocence scene here by little Carter-

Giggles galore. But, did you listen carefully? Miguel said something amidst the laughing that might be something to remember when getting married. You won't always get a warning. Anyway, just remember this statistic everyone farts like 12 times a day and unless you are pretty close with them, you'll never know. But, once you get married that will be an eye opening and nose closing experience. And its kind of funny.

Circus Ringleader

2009-03-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

Nick: Wouldn't it be so cool to be a circus ringleader? That'd be such an awesome job!
(Miguel looks concerned)
Miguel: uh
Nick: Just say it'd be an awesome job and lets just move on.
Miguel: I'm moving on.

Drunk 2 Year Old and a Gay Neutered Dog that Steals From Children

2009-03-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

Miguel and I were placed in the custody of a little boy. His name is Gibson. He likes Rock and Roll and playing Ball. Sometimes he lives on the edge too much and swings around too much and falls on his butt-

As you can see Gibson was going through a lot. Miguel probably shouldn't have let this behavior carry on but it was mostly her idea. But, what I think really was the low point of our 2 hours of babysitting was when Gibs was playing with a ball. Everything was going great. Then out of the bushes and the shadows emerged a giant black beast that lunged at the blue ball and ripped it from Gibson's itty bitty hands. But, that wasn't all. Oh no not at all. This tyrant of a monster we'll call Arky then began to vigorously hump the ball. Then Gibson tried to regain control of his former toy and watch-

I'm pretty sure Arky would have lit up a cigarette if he wasn't Straight Edge. I mean you'd think after such an act his appetites would have been met and he'd retire to his dark dwelling to return again after a fort night. Oh false! Just look at his next ploy-

He stole the binky from a BABY! Arky must have been born from the depths of Hadeous like merciless vagabonds. By what cosmic misfortune do we share to have seen this rapist of life's virtue! By what yarn of a nook do we shake our heads at this circus like thievery! What a jerk! After the binky he slobbered his K9's over the left shoe of the littlest one. How does this mega mouch sleep at night? Probably on the tears of baby ducklings.
Well, anyway, I'd have to say it was one of our better babysitting experiences.

We Cleaned Up Good

2009-03-03T18:06:00.000-08:00

Miguel and I have been very fortunate to have such good amigos. We got 4 toasters. One of them was very special-

Sorry to anyone who gave us a toaster that didn't have Hello Kitty on it because we returned it. Because I mean look at the toast quality-

Miguel is a sucker for cute things which is why she married this guy-

We want to THANK YOU! So, thanks. Its been really fun being married for these past 2 months.
Our wedding was cool. I'll post some footage of it some time. But, we really liked all the presents of people who were present, as well as their presence. We had a lot of stuff. We'll get around to sending thank you cards soon but it might be years until then just accept this if you're reading this. If you're not reading this then please just wait for it. Also, if you're not reading this what are you doing? You should read our blog man. Its pretty awesome.
Yesterday was our 2 month anniversary here are some scenes that have been documented in that time via Cybershot video-
We got a beautiful home

Winger Eater

This is before I washed this dry clean only sweater.

Shakedown on Center St. in Provo

I'm Not Numb

Sneak Preview

2008-12-17T06:40:00.001-08:00

New Pickchas

2008-12-10T14:57:00.001-08:00

Last Night

2008-12-05T08:40:00.000-08:00

Don't tell my boss, but last night I ditched work just to go hang out with Miguel. It was fun because it was like sluffing school again and we went around town. First place we went to was a book store and for some reason, when we're walking in Miguel (jokingly) blabs out, really loud "hey want to look up the dirty sex books?" Then, she noticed this lady trying not to smirk, out of disgust and disdain, right in front of us and I say "Of course!". Miguel was a shade of red, I think is only reserved for poisonous lizards in the amazons. That would be a good name for a blush from Maybeline, maybe. Anyway, so later we go to the mall to eat and Miguel was paying for it, so I ordered a cookies and creme shake and start drinking it without the lid, so I have a whip cream mustache. Then some random "bro" eating by himself says something dirty about it, that we both didn't get and I usually get dirty jokes but this one was confusing. So Miguel and I both just starred in confusion at this bro and he was like "ahh...you don't get that joke?" and we were like "no..". A ha hah. That was so funny. I wish I could just stare at stupid dirty jokes till they feel uncomfortable and leave. I mean it wasn't funny and plus who is this bro? Anyway, that was fun. Yes sluffing is a word. In Utah at least.

Moon Burns on a Mountain

2008-11-28T19:41:00.000-08:00

I'm an avid follower of Mr. Boyer's several blogs, but I have yet to contribute to "our blog." I feel like the public deserves to know at least partially the other half of this relationship. So here I am with my attempt to verbalize a few of my thoughts. Perhaps I'll start with a story.
Basically, it started out as strictly a textual relationship. Kinky, right? Well, as you are all well aware, my sister-in-law set us up. I hate being set up even though I was a little intrigued about this crazy dancing boy I remember from her and Jon's wedding. To be quick with it, I started texting him to avoid suffering through a potentially disasterous night. I thought he was hilarious, and as far as I'm concerned, so did he. Meaning he thought I was hilarious. After texting nonstop for like 3 days he called me. My first impression was-"Wow, what a sexy voice." That's a lie. My first impression was really, "Wow, he talks funny." I later found out that he thought the same thing. Romantic, huh? So, we talked for like ever and we thought it would be hilarious to meet before our double with Jon and Amber so we would have all these inside jokes and they would be left extremely confused. He drove down to Provo and I was ridiculously nervous waiting for him to come. Mainly because I hadn't been on very many dates since I'd been home from being a missionary and I especially hadn't been on a blind date, so I was embarrassed and probably had really sweaty pits or something. I can't remember. Anyway, he showed up and my first impression was, "Oh hell, he's smokin'." Wrong. It was, "Huh, he's really short." You see, all the guys in my family are six feet or taller so this little 5 ft. whatever showing up at my door was a little humorous to me. However, I was really mature about the situation and I kept my mouth shut. Well, we had a glorious time, and we found out that we had lots in common: ie. music, spanish speaking mission to California, pasty opaque skin, democrat, just to name a few. We decided to boxear in the light of the full moon in a parking lot in the mountains because that was the only logical thing to do at the time. I found out that he's a lot tougher than me, which is a good thing. Then we went hiking, obviously, and we soon found a great place to lay down, look at the stars and talk about Full House (don't ask...or do ask if you want.) All the sudden, I look over at him and he says something 'hilarious and witty' as he goes in for it. All I can think is, "That dirty freak! This is the first date! Who does he think I am? Does he really think I'm going to...oh well, I haven't gotten any for like 18 months +, and he's a really cool boy." Pretty much it's all history from there. I'm a big Nick fan. Like way big. I love his guts and that's my story. the end.

9 weeks and 5 days

2008-11-24T13:14:00.001-08:00

How it all began...

2008-11-14T01:25:00.000-08:00

Amber Forslund Partridge

August 28 at 6:00pm

So do you have a girlfriend? My cute Sisiter in law wants to go on a date with you. For real! She is so cute and funny!

Nick Boyer

August 28 at 6:49pm

Just like me! Does she play tennis?

Amber Forslund Partridge

August 28 at 11:05pm

Umm no tennis but she is always up for new fun stuff! She is moving down to Provo this weekend! Lets double!

Nick Boyer

August 28 at 11:43pm

This weekend?

Nick Boyer

August 29 at 5:11pm

No can do. But, maybe next week.

I have no idea what I was doing, putting love off for another week

Nick Boyer

August 29 at 5:11pm

Give me a call

Amber Forslund Partridge

August 29 at 5:39pm

Ok let me call my sister in law and I will call you!!!

Nick Boyer

August 30 at 12:21am

I don't think you will. You're super flaky.

Amber Forslund Partridge

August 30 at 10:06am

I will prove you wrong... Next Friday? How does that sound? Call me. If you don't by Wed I will call you!

Nick Boyer

September 1 at 10:18pm

This could be the One. If not then I'm never gonna dance again. Guilty feet have got no rythm. And it'll be all your fault.

Wow how prophetic. Of course you always think crazy thoughts when you're single cause you have so much time for yourself.

Amber Forslund Partridge

September 1 at 11:04pm

Huh... Why no reply to my text

Nick Boyer

September 1 at 11:18pm

what text?

Amber Forslund Partridge

September 2 at 9:35am

I sent you a picture of Michelle a good one like of her face.

Nick Boyer

September 2 at 5:08pm

oh I got it. I love it.

Nick Boyer

September 2 at 5:27pm

Got any other plans for before or after we eat?

Nick Boyer

September 2 at 5:28pm

Maybe I'll just ditch you guys and we'll go downtown.

Amber Forslund Partridge

September 3 at 9:56am

You and Michelle will go downtown? That would be fine with me... but dinner first!

Nick Boyer

September 3 at 5:03pm

I'm just saying. If we just eat then it'll be awkward afterwards unless we do something else.

Amber Forslund Partridge

September 3 at 10:36pm

Yeah well lets just talk during dinner about what to do. I think she is planning on doing something after.

Nick Boyer

September 4 at 12:07am

we decided to go to the art show at the U after

Amber Forslund Partridge

September 4 at 11:56am

Oh Nick! Well you guys just decided I am confused cause I just talked to her and she said that we should just go to Provo cause she does not have a ride up here.

Nick Boyer

September 4 at 4:26pm

oh maybe it was another Michelle

Amber Forslund Partridge

September 4 at 4:44pm

Pretty sure is was the moo... thats what I call her she hates it! i will call her or maybe you just call her work out the details and let me know

Amber Forslund Partridge

September 4 at 9:26pm

Ok tomorrow at 6:30... you down?

Nick Boyer

September 4 at 9:28pm

uh huh
where are we going?

The Beginning

Somethings

2008-11-13T23:41:00.000-08:00

Its not how long you know someone, its how far you go with someone...emotionally. "Oh" says Miguel.

When we're together its like when atoms split...explosions.

You're on drugs like 30% of the time - Nick

I know I love it- Miguel

Wedding Dance Everyone... Bring Drugs!

2008-11-07T15:33:00.000-08:00

Apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur...she hit the floor. Shorty got low. Reeboks with the straps. Gave that big booty a slap. She hit the floor. Shorty got low low low low low low low.

Need some good wedding song suggestions. Don't really need them but if you have any to offer, please comment.

Also, we are sad to report that Miguel sort of had a baby already. Sorry everyone. We were just having fun. Actually it was a baby kidney stone. Nick had to run down to Provo from South Jordan in the middle of the night to give Miguel some Loritab pills for her baby kidney stone labor pains. Luckily Mama Bear was gracious enough to go pick her up the next day and take her home. Please pray for Miguel's kidney to get off drugs. It loves to get stoned.

Tid bit fact about Nick and Miguel- Nick first proposed to Miguel while she was intoxicated on Morphine. Nick says she was love drunk but it was the Morphine. She said "are you serious?" and Nick said "yep" and they lived happily forever.

Engaging Photos

2008-10-30T11:45:00.000-07:00

This is a collection of snap shots of our love. Some of them might scare you, others just offend, but mostly you should be glad that we're in love and not in jail.
Hold me.

A walk in the park downtown (otherwise known as the hobo mattress).

What are we looking at? Actually in this moment there was a 15 year old boy jumping some concrete barrier things and totally just hit his crotch on one and was crying. True story.

Yeah first base. First base is actually an elbow grab.

Greensleeves. This one is like if the camera was taking acid and tripping balls.

Trippin aint easy.

Riding the invisible bulls.

Walking the streets of love. I just yanked her out of the bushes in this moment.

Black and White. Cue the classical cat fancy music.

I really like this one. She looks like she's got fire in her blood.

What are you thinking about?

2008-10-28T01:12:00.000-07:00

Miguel- What are you thinking about?
Nick- ...Ducks.
Miguel- What? Ducks?
Nick- Flying ducks.
Miguel- What are you really thinking about?
Nick- Why can't I be thinking about ducks?
Miguel- You're not thinking about ducks.